Hi Friends,

This first Sunday after Jan 1st is traditionally the evening I decide that the new year actually starts tomorrow and well, tonight is no different. I love the idea of a warm-up week for the New Year because I find that even those that had the best of intentions to “start the year strong” probably had some mishaps this past week easing back into reality -especially since it seems like literally everyone is sick or recovering from being sick at the moment.

However, I’ve found that letting myself ease into the New Year tends to add even MORE pressure right about now to get it “all right” come tomorrow.

So, I say to myself and to you, if that resonates at all simply: stop that.

My qualms with resolution culture is that it has become SO additive - what more you should do every day to be a better version of yourself.

The 75 Hard challenge is a perfect example: this TikTok viral challenge made even more mainstream by our favorite GWRM girly Alix Earle, is an extreme commitment to adding a lot of (likely) new habits to your already (probably) jam-packed day-to-day. These are habits like:

• follow diet of your choice with NO alcohol or cheate mals

• drink a gallon of water a day

• complete TWO 45 minute workouts of your choice with one being outside (no matter the weather)

• read 10 pages a day

• take a progress photo

And if you fall off ANY of these habits, you start over again..from 0.

In a society where we’re already so hard on ourselves and so pressed for time, these types of resolution challenges are at its core unsustainable and very likely shame inducing if you fall off even a little bit.

There’s a time and a place to build new habits but, in my opinion, it’s gradually. So instead of starting the year with a bunch of habits I want to add into my life, I warmed up for 2024 by journaling (not too late to grab your free copy) and picked 5 words that describe how I want to feel in all aspects of my life.

These core desired feelings (a concept popularized by Danielle LaPorte in The Desire Map) are the anchors to all goals and habits I’ll decide to take on AND all aspects of my life I decide to cut out.

So let’s dig in..

Clarify 💡

If you’re feeling the scaries tonight especially, I encourage you to tune into how you really want to feel and, before dreaming up lofty new habits and goals, think about what you can cut out of your life to get closer to feeling those feelings more frequently.

Those “ins and outs” reels saturating our feeds is a great visual representation of this type of work:

rflctyourlight

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Earlier this aftenroon I asked myself: What can I remove from my life to feel more frequently connected 🤝, grounded 🧘, limitless 🚀, energized 🎉 and abundant 👐?

I quickly came up with:

• Continue abstaining from alcohol - As an entrepreneur, this is the best way for me to stay clear, motivated and sharp. It’s been ~3 months from my last beverage, so I’m here to help if you’re trying out Dry January or something a bit more long-term!

• Limit my scrolling - Scrolling social media leaves me feeling the antithesis of all my core desired feelings ultimately less connected, ungrounded, limited, drained and scarce.

• Stop doing things simply out of obligation - If it’s not a ‘duck yes’ it’s a no for me right now - of course, within reason (taxes and laundry aren’t that 🦆 yes but we’re still doing both anyways).

Connect 🤝

Now connect every habit & goal you set to your core desired feelings. Use these feelings as a filter for what you say yes to and a guide for what you take on. If you’re interested in learning more tactically how I use my core desired feelings to guide my day-to-day, I’m hosting a free ‘share sesh’ tomorrow where I’ll share exactly that, along with previewing exactly how I’m focusing on feeling connected in all aspects of life, especially this community.

Confidently Communicate 🗣️

I encourage you to share with loved ones (& me if you’re feeling up to a hitting ‘reply’) what your feelings are for this year. We all know that sharing our goals leads to accoutnability and higher chancer of success - the same can be said with sharing our core desired feelings. By sharing with those closest with you, it opens up a portal into deeper conversation about how your relationship with that person can summon those feelings. I personally love asking “how did you feel <core desired feeeling> today”? versus “how was your day”? Almost always, a much richer discussion follows.

This week..

Until next Sunday!

Jess Storiale