Hi Friends,

How do you celebrate your birthday? On the celebration spectrum from totally ignore and pretend it’s just like any other day to buy a table at the club with a big birthday sign, sparkly outfit and large group, I’m somewhere close to the middle. On Saturday, I spent my 32nd birthday in the Catskills at a cute bed & breakfast with my husband Jake skiing and spa-ing and, in this season of life, that’s my idea of perfect.

What I like so much about birthdays is that it’s a celebration of past and future - on your own terms. In contrast, New Years Eve is synonymous with sparkly outfits and a resolution culture that is forced down our throats. It’s celebrating past and looking towards the future but most of society celebrates in the same variation and most of society fails in their resolutions.

For me, birthdays are a more casual and intentional way to reset and celebrate another year of life - it’s what I wish New Years was but because it’s MY birthday, I get to completely set the tone. And that, for me, is magic.

Before I dive into some birthday reflections, I’d like to highlight another big milestone coming up: the third anniversary of Jake & I’s move to New York City and the start of that fateful job search that spawned this business. To celebrate, next Tuesday, 3/5, at 12p EST, I’m hosting a free masterclass diving deep on how to move from application stage to interviews in your job search - recording will be sent if you can’t join live - use the button below to register:

I typically spend my birthday reflecting on the past year and thinking about the future - this year, I did that but I was also reminded of some important lessons throughout the celebratory weekend that I’d like to share with you. Let’s dig in….

Clarify 💡

Jake & I drove up to Belleayre Mountain Friday morning and were on the gondola up to the peak by 10a. Although the drive up had some rain and sleet, the sun came out shortly after we got to the mountain, wind was nonexistant and it was a warm winter day. Although we used to clock 20-30 ski days a season living in Colorado, this was our first ski day of the season and Jake’s first day on the mountain in 2+ years.

There were no lines at the lifts, it was not icy, the runs were freshly groomed and I was hitting some max speed.

But, because it was our first of two ski days, I recommended that we go easy and save up our energy for Saturday. We got in a half day at best with a lot more left in the tank.

The lesson here is to stop underestimating your strength and selling yourself short. Maybe it was turning another year older but, for whatever reason, I told myself a story that I couldn’t go all out and I had to save up energy for tomorrow — only for tomorrow to be poor conditions. Tomorrow isn’t promised - don’t sell yourself short today.

Connect 🤝

After a few freezing icy runs on Saturday morning, Jake and I took shelter in the lodge to reset. I decided that my birthday wasn’t going to be diminished by ice. There are other ways to unwind and have fun in The Catskills.

From the lodge, I searched a few spas only to find that, everything was booked for the day. On a mission to salvage the day, I called one of the largest spas to make an appointment - before letting the spa manager explain they were booked, I let her know that it was my birthday, the ski conditions were terrible and, acknowledging that I was sure they were booked for the day, asked if there was anything she could do to fit us in and that I would be so grateful.

She paused and said to give her a few minutes to see what she could do. She called back and excitedly told me that, although the spa was fully booked, one of the masseuse’s who was planning on taking the day off to ski, offered to come in since the conditions were so poor, as I mentioned.

The lesson here is to ask for what you want and give context. Had I not added that I was calling from the lodge and that ski conditions were terrible, the spa manager wouldn’t have thought to call one of her coworkers who she knew was planning on skiing later that day. Letting her know it was my birthday probably helped too.

When it comes to career transition, I find that the biggest blocker is that people don’t feel comfortable being open and asking for help. I know, I know - asking for a massage and telling them it’s bad ski conditions is a bit different than asking for help getting a job but in both scenarios - it’s a practice of being open and gracious. I encourage you to build your practice with the small asks (like the call to the spa) before you go for the bigger ones.

Confidently Communicate 🗣️

After a relaxing afternoon at the spa, Jake and I decided to wind down at dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in town, Peekamoose. I was excited to reflect on the weekend and spend some quality time with Jake - my intention going into the dinner was by no means to have an Instagram moment or being the center of attention.

But, to my surprise, throughout our dinner there were diplays of sparklers paired with dessert sent to various tables to celebrate anniversaries and birthdays. After seeing a few sparkler parades, I began to expect my own. In the reservation, we had noted it was my birthday. The hostess had confirmed it was my birthday. The woman who seated us wished me a happy birthday.

So, as they cleared our entrees and took our dessert order, I mentally prepared - asking Jake to take a video when the sparklers came. But the sparklers never came.

I know, I know - 1st world problems. I’m not sure what happened - staff miscommunication? Waiter hated us? They ran out of sparklers?

Jake apologized (as if it was his fault) and asked if I wanted him to say something but I refused. I took a moment and realized, my intention for celebrating my birthday was reflective 1-1 time with him - not an Instagram moment. I got caught up in seeing what everyone else had and, despite my intentions being much different than sparklers at dinner, was a bit dissappointed when I didn’t have what they had.

If this wasn’t a sign to check myself out of the comparison cycle, I don’t know what is. It’s SO easy to scroll and compare yourself to others. It’s even easier when sat in the same room at a restaurant in real life. If I wanted a sparkler moment, I would have asked for it but that’s not really what I wanted from the night - I just saw other people have it and dismissed my wants for what they had.

I see this a lot in career transition - that job title, that salary, that next rung on the career ladder might be what you really want but often, it’s a sparkler moment. Not something you deep down want for yourself but something you see others have and, through comparison trap, decide you do too.

That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people break way from what they’re conditioned to want in a career and tap into what you truly want and need - then build strategy based on that.

Specifically, I’ll be teaching you how to

• Search Intentionally: Get clear on exactly what you want in your next career move and how to use that clarity to find aligned opportunities

• Ace the Application: how to stand out in a pool of applicants with a resume and cover letter that converts

• Master the Follow-Up: How to build authentic connection in the application process to land an interview - no copy & paste cold outreach required!!

**recording will be sent if you can't make it live**

This week.. 

Until next week!

Jess Storiale