Hi Friends,

Maybe it’s the upcoming Halloween holiday but one of the most common themes in my calls this past week has been professional masking and my clients’ desire to be their true selves in all parts of life - including work.

Don’t get me wrong, masks (or wigs) can be fun for a night and I’m sure more than a few of you enjoyed that last night. Trying on another appearance and with it a different personality is a form of play that many of us don’t get enough of as adults.

However doing this, figuratively, at work is totally different. The average American spends ~24% of their lifetime at work and many are spending so much of that lifetime hiding core parts of themselves.

Times have changed: 50 years ago, there was for many Americans an expected work persona that encouraged uniformity, suits, strong handshakes, and, frankly, a work culture steeped in patriarchy.

And although some industries are slower to change (looking at you my Big Law and Finance friends) for the most part, work today is more casual and more inclusive of people’s whole selves. Yet this tendency to have a “work personality”, a “work voice” and a “work self” persists. Why?

I suspect it’s a combination of how we were raised and what type of organizations we’ve worked at - generally people who have only worked at small startups bring up work identity crises less to me than those whose work foundations are more established in corporate America.

I’m not advocating that a total blend of your personal life and work life is the answer but I do believe we are most happy when we feel true to ourselves.

So this week let’s tackle how I’ve learned to integrate my personal values and the most important parts of me into my work life so I feel less Jekyl and Hyde and more myself, all of the time.

Clarify 💡

We grow and evolve over time so knowing yourself is an ongoing practice as is bringing that self to work.

The foundation of who you are starts with your values - growing up, I equated values to religious doctrine but I’ve come to think of it quite differently now. Your values are your compass in the decisions you make, the relationships you build and, ideally, guide you in your day-to-day life.

Outside of religion, many people don’t spend time thinking about their personal values - this is like going on a road trip with no directions. Aimless wandering can certainly be fun but, if you have a destination in mind - a lack of directions makes it much harder to reach that destination.

So how do you decide your personal values? I’m a big fan of how Brene Brown writes about values in Dare to Lead and this exercise she includes to get clear on your own.

Once you align on your core values, ask yourself - reflect, through journaling or conversation with a loved one on the following:

• Which of your core values are you able to lean into at work and how do you demonstrate and make decisions based on those values?

• Which of your values are hidden at work? Why do you think so?

Connect 🤝

Next - how do you connect your values and who you aim to be with work? I believe the best connection exists at both the organizational AND relational level.

At the organization level, you can learn a lot about an organization by examining factors like:

• organization mission

• what the company pays their employees and the transparency of that pay

• how employees describe their work and their experience at work

• how supported employees are in all aspects of life

I’ve been frustrated in the past with there not being a centralized place to find companies hiring that align with my values so I made one myself.

🥁🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁 Introducing 🥁🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁

This job board is updated every Tuesday at 12p EST, with roles hand-selected based on the following criteria, that align with my values and I hope some of yours as well:

💰 fair & transparently compensation

🏠 allows for flexible work (fully remote or hybrid)

 🤗 generous benefits

 📈 contributes to a growing organization

 🤝 sponsored by a connection of mine that I trust

Make sure to follow me on LinkedIn as I’ll be highlighting a company of the week - a company that is actively growing and treats employees how I wish every employer treated their workforce! Last week I highlighted Atlassian - find out why here.

At the relational level, examine who you spend the most time with at work (your manager, team, and, perhaps, cross-functional partners and/or clients) and ask yourself: do these people align me towards my values or drive me away?

This type of reflection can help guide if where you’re currently working is a long-term place that will enable you to grow the way you want or, if not, indicators to look for in finding your next workplace.

Confidently Communicate 🗣️

Once you clarify your core values and how these manifest in how you show up at work, it’s up to you to communicate this to those you work with. Boundary setting and setting your brand and values is easiest done when starting a new role but it is possible to reset - even if you’ve been working on the same team for some time.

My favorite way to do this, especially with a more established team, is to introduce a rotational personal presentation segment to team meetings where one person in a meeting has 10 minutes or less to present themselves to the team. This presentation is best done when it has some structured prompts - some of my favorites are:

• what did you want to be growing up?

• what’s your preferred communication style?

• what enneagram are you?

• what do you enjoy most about your role?

• what are you actively improving upon?

• what do you think you can help other teammates with?

If you’re interested in what a Personal Presentation looks like, reply to this email and I’d be happy to share a version of mine.

And now, here are some favorites of the week:

Until next Sunday,

Jess Storiale