Hi Friends!

It’s officially spooky season! 🎃 

Apologies that I haven’t been in your inbox these past few Sundays - the end of summer is a busy season: weddings, showers, etc… and I know I’m not the only one.

These events often come with meeting new people and, no matter how evolved some of us may be in separating our identity from what we do for a living, naturally the “What do you do for work?” question eventually creeps into the conversation.

I’m grateful to be in a season of life that I now genuinely love to answer this question with, “I help people confidently navigate career transition blending a mix of mindset work with proven tactics.”

But when I was unhappy in my role or searching for a job - this question would cause my heart to race, palms to sweat and genuinely made me avoid situations where I would be forced into that type of conversation.

So I’m curious…

In an ideal world, we wouldn’t tie so much of our self-worth to our work and we wouldn’t be ashamed no matter where we were in our careers.

But we generally don’t live in that ideal world and whether you are on the job hunt or not, this situation is likely familiar.

So instead of avoiding social gatherings (nearly impossible with the holidays approaching), I’ll share my tips for answering this question with grace and intention. Let’s dig in…

Clarify 💡

Before an event, set aside a few minutes to yourself to get clear on how you want to approach work talk based on how you’re feeling that day.

If you’re feeling confident and excited about what’s going on in your career, you could set the intention of sharing some of that news in a way that has empathy for others who aren’t in that same place.

If you’re feeling lost and stuck in your career path but would prefer to avoid the rabbit hole of welcoming others’ opinions on what you should do, you could set an intention of a rehearsed concise & neutral answer with a conversation redirect.

And if you’re in transition and looking for your next role decide, based on the setting and attendees, whether you by and large want to redirect the work conversation or receive help & guidance.

Connect 🤝

While you’re setting your intention, take some time to map out who will be at the gathering - identifying three groups of people:

1. Allies: Allies are the most important group of people to identify and communicate with before the gathering. This is at least one person who you know will be at the gathering and has your back. You’ve shared your intention with them on how you want to handle work talk - they will not only respect that intention but actively help you implement it by redirecting group conversations or introducing you to new potentially helpful connections.

2. Connections: If you’ve set the intention to embrace work conversation at the event whether for the purpose of finding a new job or advancing your career in some way, identify who you’d like to connect with, why you’d like to connect with them and who of your allies at the gathering can make that warm introduction.

3. Redirectors: Opposite to allies, know who you’d explicitly like to avoid work talk with - this might be family members who incite anxiety rather than be helpful or an acquaintance in the same line of work who views themselves in competition with you. Be firm on who you will redirect the conversation with and your boundaries.

Confidently Communicate 🗣️

The last part of preparation is defining what you want to say based on who you’re speaking with.

Ally Prep: Tell them your intention for the gathering, how they might be able to help connect you to someone and who you’re avoiding talking about work with. If you’re asking an ally to make an introduction for you, tell them exactly what you want them to highlight to make the conversation with that connection smooth and play to your strengths.

Connection Prep: If you’re looking for a job, prep a confident answer to the following:

• Can you tell me more about your background?

• What exactly are you looking for? Use my Role Clarity Exercise for specificity

• How can I help? Be specific and express gratitude. Unless the connection wants to dive deep, I recommend exchanging contact info and focusing the conversation on building the relationship, rather than hash out the career details

Redirector Prep: Rehearse a neutral and short statement that doesn’t invite in more questions - some examples might be:

Job searchers: “I’m still actively looking for a role and have some leads but don’t want to jinx anything. Thanks for asking”

Feeling meh about work: “Work is fine - insert something positive about company, your role, or the market. But enough work talk, I’d love to hear more about _______(any topic that person would love to talk about - a sports team, new grandchild, a recent trip, etc)”

If you’re in a time of career transition, let’s chat how I might best partner with you.

Until next Sunday,