Hi Friends,

For many of us, this is the last of our Sunday scaries for the year. If you’re like me, that idea in itself sparks equal parts excitement and, well, more scaries. This Sunday evening, as we are about to begin the last ‘productive’ week of the year, you may be concoting your own compunctious cocktail made up of:

• comparing your life to others (fueled by social media)

• setting impossible expectations for yourself based on beliefs so engrained into our sub-conscious we don’t even know its there

• listening to the judgemental people in our lives

  Most likely, equal parts of all of the above

Whether ignited by end of year work reviews or, perhaps, just reading this newsletter, it’s natural to start this week reflecting on where you began 2023, with goals and expectations for the year ahead, and where you are today.

And, for so many of us, this reflection can invoke some shame. Take it from me - this year was the absolute best year of my life summed up best by two major milestones:

• After ~7 years, I married the love of my life and celebrated with 125 friends & family in the most beautiful place, St. Lucia

• I finally stopped taking ‘stepping stone’ roles to my dream of entrepreneurship and took the (terrifying) leap to start my own business and with it, this newsletter that I’ve found I write as much for myself as for you (almost) every Sunday

But even with those incredible life events, I still thought I’d be ‘further ahead’ in almost every aspect of life by now - more savings, more of an audience, more toned & fit, more consistently reading…no matter the part of my life, I thought there’d be more. And, for me, this Sunday is a bit of a trigger to, illogically as it sounds, rush to see where I can get for the end of the year.

So if that resonates, I invite you as much as myself to STOP.

Stop punishing yourself with your (illogical) timeline construct.

Stop telling yourself your behind.

Because, what does that self-punishment accomplish? Sure, it may fuel a frenzied planning session and an adrenaline powered push to “close out 2023 strong” but if this drive is shame induced, I can assure you it won’t feel good or lead you to what best serves you.

So, let’s put 2024 planning aside for now (promise, we’ll get there soon) and together flip this cycle of shame to self-respect.

Relevantly, I’ll be hosting a free virtual workshop on Tuesday - you’ll walk away with clarity on what you want in your next career chapter and how to best connect your past experience to positioning yourself for what you want most. Those that are looking to make career transitions or get promoted in 2024, you don’t want to miss this - limited spots available:

Now let’s dig in to how I’m approaching this week…

Clarify 💡

First, make a list of everything you need to accomplish this week before, for many of us, family gatherings and holiday celebrations consume the rest of the year. To start, this might be overwhelming but I promise the brain dump will be cathartic, especially this week. When I did this earlier today, I had more than 30 personal tasks and 20 business things I, at first pass, NEEDED to do this week.

Then, I brought myself back down to earth - it’s the last full week before the end of year limbo, a time where to-do’s are plentiful and time, amongst holiday parties and travel, is a precious resource.

With your task list in hand, likely full of gifts that stil need to be bought, projects to be wrapped up and errands to run before end of year travel, give yourself 10 minutes and assess each task with 2 questions:

• Can this be delegated or am I the only person that can do this?

• Is there real urgency and impact if this does not get done this week or can this, with reset expectations, wait?

   

By evaluating your tasks with these two questions in mind, you’ll be able to pair down to tasks that only you alone can do and necessitate action this week. Aaaand you’ll likely still end up with a longer list than you can handle so next - rank order this list from most important to least (even if you view it all as critical).

Last, look at your calendar and calculate, realistically, how much time you have, outside of already scheudled meetings and life responsibilities, you have to accomplish that ‘must do’ list and block time to get the highest priority must do tasks done first. Have a free hour on Tuesday evening or think you could squeeze in listening to a recording sometime soon? I invite you to join my free virtual workshop focused on gaining clarity & connecting your dots - only a few spots left!

I know, I know - this process in itself might seem like it’s using time you could be making use of to accomplish said tasks but, if you go into this week with no plan - you’re a lot more likely to be that person online for work on Christmas Eve or the parent up all night wrapping presents before Christmas (and hey - from what I’ve been told - that may be inevitable).

So taking 15 minutes to put pen to paper, prioritize, and plan will alleviate some of the mental noise that’s bogging most of us down and give you a sense of control that this season tends to rob. However, don’t let that control fool you into thinking everything will go according to plan - this is a time that change is certain: packages get delayed, flights get cancelled, you stay longer at a party than you intended, you forget about the cookies in the oven. With all that you have planned, be as graceful with yourself as you are with others this time of year and remember, most people are starting to check out themselves - more can wait until January than you think.

Connect 🤝

With a plan for the week in motion, you might feel like there is no free time left unplanned and, for the parents out there, that could very well be the case. But, if you do find yourself reaching for your phone to mindlessly scroll or watch mediocre live TV on a flight, I invite you to take 20 minutes or so and join me in this exercise that my former client, John, shared with me that I think is wonderful:

Make a list of every new person you’ve met in 2023

That’s right, everybody in your life that you didn’t know 365 days ago. This can be people from work, friends, friends of friends, people at your gym, neighbors, etc. Literally anyone in your life that you didn’t have a connection with before this year.

When I did this exercise earlier today, I found that the best way to build this list is to scroll through the pictures on my phone, my sent email inbox and text message threads from the year to discover that I’ve met hundreds of new people just this year and, I’m sure I’m missing more than a few.

How cool is that?

No matter the number, taking stock of everyone new that came into your life is a wonderful reminder of all you’ve accomplished and how large of a network and support system you have.

This is especially powerful for those of us that find ourselves, at times, tricked by the idea of a timeline of where we “should” be “by now”.

For example, maybe you thought this was the year you’d buy a home or run a half marathon or really “figure out” your career and those things didn’t happen. This list reminds you that by not buying a home, you met your neighbors in your apartment building or friends in your neighborhood you otherwise wouldn’t have. Or, by not running a half marathon, you used the time you would have been training to explore another interest, like dance lessons, and perhaps met some new people along the journey. And for those of you that find yourself not where you want to be in your career today, this list is a reminder of just how many new connections you have in your life that are likely willing to help you so just imagine all of your long-term connections that are there to support!

Confidently Communicate 🗣️

If you’re digging the reflective exercises at these times of year, I challenge you to take it a step forward and pick at least one person that made an impact on you this year and tell them how they impacted you.

Lately, I’ve received a few thank you letters from clients I’ve worked with that have brought me to tears. You have NO idea how impactful it is to hear from someone in your life that you’ve brought them impact - (a lot of impact, I know).

This doesn’t have to be a grand gesture - it literally could be an out of the blue text or voicenote. The thought and words matter a whole lot more than the method. Give it a try - the dopamine will flow!

This week…

Until next Sunday!

Jess Storiale